Like a virtual taste barometer, Niki Fryatt attempts to persuade you of the present day must-have's, must-listen-to's, and basically the best of all things...... Oh yeah and the flip side
SHIT HOT
Fucked Up: Because who doesn’t love seeing skinny indie kids being snapped in half by a 20-stone Canadian man-baby called pink eyes?
Celebsbians: Seriously, is it us or is Li-Lo SOOO much cooler since she started sucking the face of Samantha Ronson (we deduct points tho, Linz because she does look eerily like her brother Mark – [Ed ‘Ronson is the anti-Christ of mine puritan ears’]).
And isn’t Ellen and Portia's marriage the most romantic in Hollywood this year? (We hope they adopt girl babies in all the colours of the rainbow and act like the same sex version of Branjelina). Sapphic is like, SO cool!
Fucked Up: Definitely Shit Hot
Concrete & Glass: Shoreditch twats, yes: But TV on the Radio? YESSSSSSSSSS
Fat Boys: Guy Garvey, Matt Berry, James Corden, Nick Frost, Big Phil Jupitus, Toadie, the list is endless - face it skinny men, big boys are just more fun!
Patent Leather: We want the LK Bennet brogues, the Jaeger bag and the Topshop jazz shoes! Wear with a pencil skirt to look lady-like or Checked Shirt for Scuzzy bad-gal cool
American Apparel: FIT clothes and Adverts that are porn for indie kids. ‘Nuff said.
SHIT
Winehouse: YAWN! Just die or get clean and stop wasting our time woman!
Gymnastics Scrunchies: Never attractive headwear. Its not 1992 anymore and not even one nu-raver has worn a scrunchie since the Klaxons were deemed "underground."
Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise: Okay so we know this is an old one, but come on! Why is she still with him?! In our dreams she gets back together with Joshua Jackson and they sail off into the sunset a-la Joey and Pacey - Awww!
Leather Trousers: Looming dangerously on the Autumnal Horizon.
The Mighty Boosh: The Boosh = OVER EXPOSED. Go hide in some cosmic caves for a while boys, don’t believe t'hype! (This means you Noel Fielding)
The Last Shadow Puppets: Two blokes with Oasis hair cuts and the faces of sixth-form kids singing fake Bond themes. And THIS is worthy of a Mercury? [Ed – well actually, yes if Elbow hadn’t of won it, two words Niki, Owen Pallet]
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